catheroominations

gawd! how lame are they to miss this typo?

last night I had a dream that I had a baby. not that I physically delivered a baby, but that I was mama to an adopted baby from a foreign country, and I had forgotten about it for months, or it arrived when I was out of town and my folks didn’t tell me about it or something. they were taking care of it for me while I neglected it, ignorantly going about my happy life. at some point they decided it was time I take care of my own kid so they handed him off to me.

in my dream, when I finally realized I had this child (a boy), I also realized I had no baby paraphernalia, like diapers, a crib, clothes…nothing. so during a visit with some friends, I asked if they could loan me some of their old stuff, since they had 2 boys who had outgrown their clothes. they kindly obliged and then snickered while I tried to change the kid’s diaper and couldn’t figure out which was the front, and which was the back.

oddly enough, I instantly bonded with this baby. he was 6 months old and could already talk (convenient, eh?). at one point he said “shutup,” so I had to discipline him, which it killed me to do. so rather than scold him, I told the little tyke that we don’t say “shutup” when other people are around, only when it’s the 2 of us. what a pushover I am.

the kid was huge, like the size of a 2-year old, and was difficult to carry. when I looked at his face, it looked digitized like that freaky dancing baby from ally mcbeal.but I still loved him because he was mine. my biggest problem was how would I explain the existence of this child to the boyfriend. I woke up before I tackled that one, so I guess I’ll never know how that conversation went. my guess is that he’d have dumped me for being so lame to forget I had a kid.

I would love a dream analysis of this one. does it mean I shirk my responsibilities? does it mean I shouldn’t have children? does it mean I’m forgetting something vitally important? what does it say about me?

does anyone give a rat’s @$$ what is on gee dub’s ipod?

I thought not.

gwen stefani is selling a clothing line called harajuku lovers. you can buy a three-pack of chonies on fredflare.com for $44.

mentioning bananas on boxers is kind of punny. but gwen, you should really reconsider the word s#!@ on these girlie undies. that’s a little too close for comfort.

or maybe my mind is just in the gutter

(found on nymag.com)

methinks notsomuch.
mullets and ‘staches and stonewash, oh my!

my favorite part is when the 4 dudes are clapping. look at that enthusiasm!

(found on best week ever’s blog)

on my 2-mile commute to work today, I pulled up to a stop light next to a nice mercedes…or so I thought.

but upon taking a closer look, I almost threw up a little in my mouth. I took out my camera to take a picture, but chickened out because I feared the driver to be a mafia hit man, drug dealer, or pimp. who else would drive a champagne colored CLK430, with louis vuitton lv’s barfed all over the convertible top and window tint?

blessed screaming jesus on a whole-wheat goddamn cracker, that thing was ugly.

I just read that some horndog in canada was acquitted of sexual abuse charges. apparently he suffers from sexsomnia, or “involuntary sexual behavior during sleep.” the court called in a sleep expert, who testified under oath that the perv perp was asleep when the alleged attack occured, due to said sexsomnia.

but then why was the dude wearing a condom when he awoke? a person doesn’t involuntarily don a condom.

I’ll bet he unconsciously put barry white in his cd player and sleep-lit some candles too.