catheroominations

Sorry for the unintentional blog hiatus. I packed my blog mojo in one of the bajillion boxes now lining my garage and I’m not sure which one it’s in.

While you’re waiting for some fresh squeezed creative juices, maybe you could help me with this math problem:
Billy lives in an 800-square foot apartment. Sally’s apartment is 875 square feet. The sum of the 2 apartments is 1675 square feet. Billy and Sally want to share an apartment that is 1131 square feet. 1131 is 544 less than 1675, so Billy or Sally must sacrifice some of their belongings. Which of his worldly goods must Billy get rid of so that the apartment can accomodate Sally’s prized possessions?

The amount of crap I have accumulated in this one-bedroom apartment is horrifying. And I have to pack it all up and move it.

Steven Seagal is on tour.

Click here to see if your town will be one of the select few chosen to be Under Siege entertained by Mr. Seagal.

OK. I know I suck at math, but I see 6 chefs here.

Sometimes I like to visit the Pit of Despair known as mlslistings.com. It’s fun to see how impossible it is for me to ever buy a nice house around here. Recently I happened upon this gem:

Now, I don’t normally like listings without photos, but in this case, I might have preferred the omission. Didn’t anyone suggest that the owners remove their cars from the front lawn for the photo? Or are the cars included in the FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY THOUSAND dollar pricetag for 848 sqare feet? Hmm. The listing says “guest house.” Perhaps that refers to the yellow truck?

I suppose it doesn’t really matter anyway. Sale is already pending, so I missed out. Darn.

I owe $2 in federal taxes this year. Two. Dollars.

I know, I should quit my bitching and count my blessings. My sister had to pay that much multiplied by 1,250.

But couldn’t one of the fine folks at the IRS just skip a Starbucks run one day, and stick two bucks in the ginormous pile for me?

I wonder what the cut-off is for “never mind, don’t pay.” Like, if you owe $1, do you really have to send in a check? A check made out for “One and 00/100.” Really?

The following searches resulted in visits to my blog.

Duke basketball Christian Slater
I hate Duke. And I think you mean Christian Laet… no, I don’t think I want to finish that.

Domo arigato gozaimashita
It means good morning, in the most formal sense. I hope that helped.

Immunity idle
Note to self: misspell more or use more puns. Makes for more hits.

Hot mustaches
I think you all know how I feel about this one.

I gotta keep my game tight like Kobe on game night
While I am the authority on this, I’m keeping that secret to myself.

Hermione pole dancing vids
People just assume that after a couple of beers Emma Watson will just don the stilettos and swing around a pole.

Who is Emmer Effer
Anyone can be Emmer Effer, really.

Sexsomnia
Having sex while sound asleep. Now that’s what I call multi-tasking!

My way hot meat
I have no words for this one.

Random/useless information
Now this one? I understand.