catheroominations

a horse is a horse, of course, of course,
and no one can talk to a horse of course
that is, of course,
unless the horse
is one of heidi fleiss’ studs.

giddy-up! heidi fleiss is back in the saddle and is opening a brothel in nevada, catering exclusively to women. if you’re an out-of-work male prostitute reading this, you may want to apply at heidi fleiss’ stud farm. it’s a stable job that pays $250 an hour (50% of which goes to the hollywood madam) and you get to keep your tips.

oh, and jockeys ladies, the opening is planned for 2 months from now, so dig that riding crop out of storage and start saving your pennies.

I’ll pass, thanks. I hate mustaches.

people magazine listed ian mcshane in their sexiest man alive issue. he has a mustache. I hate mustaches. they are only sexy on tom selleck as magnum p.i. and sam elliott. oh, and burt reynolds back in the day. the key here is “back in the day.” mustaches are 70s creepy and I hate them.

I might have mentioned that I hate mustaches. mustaches and corvettes. throw a member’s only jacket on guy and stick him in a corvette and that is off the vomitrocity scales, in my book.

god, I hate mustaches.

today I piddled around way too long and it was pretty late once I started getting ready for work. in the interest of time, I didn’t do much–threw a clip in my hair, rushed on the make-up, and put on jeans, a hoodie, and sneakers. I look like a slob, really.

when I toil over getting ready, with every hair curled and perfectly in place, fabulously applied make-up, and clothes nicely ironed, generally looking in such a way that would invite compliments, I go unnoticed.

but someone just told me I look cute today.

are these for real?

if so, alleluia! vpl (visible panty lines) and the peek-a-boo thong out of the top of your jeans are eliminated forever! they might see paris, and they may see france, but they won’t see your underpants! and no one can ever accuse you of getting your panties in a bunch, because you’re not wearing any!

you’ll be stuck on these cotton disks that have adhesive on one side, allowing you to attach to them the inside of your pants. slap ’em on and you’re ready to go. what could be easier? there are several patterns to choose from, to suit your every whim, even antipantis with jesus for sundays!

find out more here

whoever owns this car that gets stolen every 25 seconds is either a complete moron or has some seriously crappy karma.

pennsylvania company recalls 94,400 lbs of beef

washington (reuters) – quaker maid meats inc. on tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with e. coli.

read the rest of the article here.