catheroominations

I’m trying to get into the Christmas spirit, but for some reason, I’m not feelin’ it, dawg. See what I mean?

I fart in your general direction…in everyone’s general direction.

So, Carl’s Jr.

I don’t get it. The way it’s written, Carl owns the Jr. So, is the Jr. the restaurant? Like, did Carl once own a chain of large restaurants, and the fast food grease joint is a smaller version? A Jr. version, if you will?

Is the restaurant the Jr. or is Carl the Jr.? If it’s Carl, shouldn’t it be Carl Jr.’s?

I can’t sleep until I solve this mystery.

Anyone? Anyone?

Oh, RATS! The Department of Health has closed down Serendipity 3 for multiple vomitrocious health code violations. The inspector found mouse droppings, fly infestations, bad sewage, and more than 100 live cockroaches. Maybe Serendipity should have invested more in pest control and less on the gold and diamond bracelet that graces the base of the golden-lined goblet containing 28 different kinds of cocoa in their $25,000 Frrozen Haute Chocolate.

Maybe they should also give me that bracelet since they no longer need it.

I went to Serendipity a couple of years ago. People pack the sidewalk outside the restaurant, waiting for a table. We were there for their famous Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, but when we saw they offered a foot-long hot dog, well, I had to get one of those too. And my friends and I giggled about it. Because it was a full 12 inches. And it was a hot dog. And we are mature.

The aroma is filled with the scent of ripe plums and sweet toasted oak which linger on the pallet and compliment rich, hearty meals.

<sigh>

What is it about The Biggest Loser? Tonight’s episode is a reunion of sorts, where former Losers check-in at the scales to see if they’ve kept the weight off. One Loser is going to propose to his girlfriend (also a Loser). A marriage proposal does not make me cry. Not on this show. On this show, it’s the formerly obese individuals talking about what they overcame. I cry tears of joy for these people because I am proud of them. As someone who has struggled with their weight for 20-something years, I cry because these people inspire me. If they can lose 70, 100, 160 pounds, surely I can lose 10 or 20, or even 30. Can’t I?

Dammit, I want to be a loser.

**UPDATE** OK, the boy Loser proposed. His girlfriend got on the scale to show us if she’s kept the weight off, and instead of a number coming up, it was a message from him, professing his love for her.
And yeah, I’m crying. Jeez.