catheroominations

Someone asked me that question Monday night at the Willy Porter show at The Attic.

Me: No. But I play one.
Nice cashier: I think I walked into one of your shots earlier. I’m sorry.
Me: Oh. No. Don’t worry about it. It’s OK.
Nice cashier: You know, we show local artists here, if you ever want to get your photographs out in the public. Here’s the contact number for the person who handles all the art. (Hands me a business card.)
Me: (stunned) Oh! I’m not good or anything! Really, I don’t know what I’m doing.
Nice cashier: Nah. I’ll bet you’re a good photographer. All the great ones think they’re not. I’ll bet you’re awesome. And if you’re taking shots of performers here, we should show them!
Me: No. Seriously, I’m not that good.
Nice cashier: Yeah. Yeah. You must be really good.

Her impression had nothing to do with my talents, and was based purely on circumstantial evidence.

keep reading “Are you a photographer?”

I just checked the filing status of my tax return.

My federal return? The one for $2? It was rejected by the IRS.

REJECTED.

As I clicked around to investigate this snafu, my optimistic self hoped a message would appear on my screen that said “A kind benefactor has generously donated $2 in your honor. Pass GO and collect $200.”

But my version of TurboTax didn’t come with Community Chest or Chance cards.

Alas, I would not get a bye this year after all.

My return was rejected because the carbon entity barcode social security number I entered did not match the one assigned to the name on my tax return.

What? No way.

Couldn’t be. Nuh-uh.

Oh.

Hmmpfh.

Yeah.

Clearly, I am an Idiot.

Seems I accidentally entered part of (e)’s phone number instead of my SSN. And I had to stare at the mistake for a long time before I saw it.

Hey, I never said I was good with numbers.

Now if you’ll excuse me, My Jessica Simpson CD is skipping on my record player…again.

I owe $2 in federal taxes this year. Two. Dollars.

I know, I should quit my bitching and count my blessings. My sister had to pay that much multiplied by 1,250.

But couldn’t one of the fine folks at the IRS just skip a Starbucks run one day, and stick two bucks in the ginormous pile for me?

I wonder what the cut-off is for “never mind, don’t pay.” Like, if you owe $1, do you really have to send in a check? A check made out for “One and 00/100.” Really?

Today I went to a birthday party for a friend’s daughter. It was the big 0-1. Seeing all the decorations and party favors and kids having fun made me nostalgic for the days when my own birthdays were a huge deal. When I was a kid, parties always accompanied birthdays and all my bestest friends came over. There was much screaming, giggling, and goofiness. Not to mention cake, ice cream, and presents. Yes, growing up, my birthday was the best day ever.

I was born in August, which meant I could have my parties on my birthday without yucky school interfering. Until it was time for college. I became a college freshman, attending my first class on the day I turned 18. Not fair! (Pout.)

As you can see, I still live by the credo that my birthday is my day, but I have come to accept that I’m not a kid anymore and just because it’s my special day, doesn’t dismiss me from certain responsibilities. I still have to go to work, scoop the litter box, and pay bills, but I do try to celebrate my birthday in some special way when I can. Last year, it was on a Florida beach, soaking up rays and frolicking in warm waters with a friend and her family. And once I got home from my fabulous vacation, I celebrated again by taking a pole dancing class with some girlfriends. This year, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I’m thinking bocce ball or trapeze lessons.

Whatever I do, I sure would love a cake as magnificent as this one. (I’d like mine with tiramisu filling, please.)

Have you heard of la la? No? Well, lemme tell ya. It’s pretty darn cool. It’s like an online swap meet.

Got a CD you don’t want? Someone else is dying for it. And someone out there owns that out-of-print CD you’ve been looking for forever.

What la la does, is brings people together. To trade music.

Just list the CDs you want to give away and those that you want. When la la lets you know someone wants one of your CDs, you ship it. Or sometimes you don’t. You can decide, “Wait, I kinda still want that,” and tell la la you’ve changed your mind. No problem.

This is perfect for those of you, like me, who store their CDs in a CaseLogic binder, and long ago recycled the jewel cases and/or liner notes. All you ship in the la la-provided CD case is the CD itself. If you have the liner notes and want to send them too, that’s super cool of you, but not necessary.

la la even provides mailing envelopes, with pre-paid postage. How much easier can this get?

The cost? Only $1.49 per trade.

I’ve received one CD and three more are on the way. And I’ve shipped three of my own. This is a great way to try out a new artist because you don’t waste $15 on a CD that you end up not liking, and you can just send it on to someone else who might.

By the way, this is not stealing. The peeps at la la request you practice good karma and remove the CD’s files from your iPod (or other mp3 player) as well as your computer before sending it off to its new home. And a portion of la la’s proceeds even benefit the artists. So, really, everybody wins!

For now, new users can sign up by invitation only and I have 4 invites to give away. Want one? Leave a comment and ask. Be sure to say please. Bribes and baked goods are accepted. Also, please only request an invitation after checking out la la for yourself. As I don’t have many invites, I want to make sure they go to those who are truly interested in this cool way to get new music.

(Grabbed from the Best Week Ever Blog.)

Shuffle all the songs in your iPod, then use the resulting songs to answer the following questions, in the order in which they appeared.

How does the world see you?
Moon Over Bourbon Street, Sting

Will I have a happy life?
Last Dance, Sarah McClachlan

What do my friends really think of me?
If You Love Me Let Me Know, Olivia Newton-John

Do people secretly lust after me?
Crash and Burn, Sheryl Crow

How can I make myself happy?
Like the Way I Do, Melissa Etheridge

What should I do with my life?
November, Azure Ray

Will I ever have children?
It’s all in the Point of View, Andre Garner

What is some good advice for me?
Chapter 1, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

How will I be remembered?
Only a Memory, Smithereens

What is my signature dancing song?
The Bed’s Too Big Without You, The Police

What do I think my current theme song is?
Radio Free Europe, R.E.M.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
The Animals and Me, The Wonderstuff

What song will play at my funeral?
The Same Love that Made Me Laugh, Queen Latifah

What type of women men do you like?
Photograph, Jamie Cullum

What is my day going to be like?
A Case of You, Tori Amos