catheroominations

the boy gave me a nice gift yesterday. he got the inspiration here.

go here and speak now, or forever hold your peace.

(no that is not the beginning of a joke)

he’s wearing nice dress slacks and dress shirt. he’s carrying the skateboard he rode from his office. he chats it up with the sandwich artist and convinces her to add more bacon to his chicken ranch on itialian bread. she complies. no charge. they know him.

the cashier asks, “why the skateboard?”

the businessdude explains, “because by the time I get out to the car, hit all the lights, try and find a place to park…you know? this is quicker.”

nevermind that he’s in full business attire and looks like a neo-maxie zoom dweebie shredding down stevens creek blvd.

the cashier nods, as if to understand this logic.

the businessdude then begins to recount his weekend, “dude, I had such a wild weekend. me and (dude), and (dude)…we…”

I don’t recall their names and didn’t hear how or why it was so wild as I was ordering my own sandwich.

the cashier enjoys his story. he himself had a wild weekend.

the businessdude was apparently in the doghouse after his boyz night out, “yeah, my wife was pissed! but it’s ok because I gave her a big ole diamond ring this morning. gotta pay ’em off, you know?”

while reading an article about norm mineta calling britney irresponsible (ya think?) I came across this sentence:

“mineta said children roughly from about age 4 to age 8, as long as they are under 4-feet-9, should be placed in booster seats.”

most of you read that with no reaction. but not I.

I am 3 inches away from a booster seat, people!

oh, except that I am not between ages 4 and 8. whew!

it’s been awhile since I’ve had a valentine, so I’m not real sure what to get the boy as a token of my undying love and devotion. what I really want to do is get something kinda hot for valentine’s night. I searched at victoria’s secret, but couldn’t find what I was looking for. it was all just…well…not me.
so what do you guys think of this? what’s the first thing you think of when you see it?

update: since I couldn’t try it on, davis offered his help. now I can see just how fabulous it would look on me.

phil* might want to update his resume

*phil = famous groundhog punxsutawney phil

(somewhere in america, friday, february 10, 10 p.m.)

dude 1: yo, that was a @#$%in’ funny ass show, b.
dude 2: yeah, @#$%in’ hilarious when the cousins got married. and when justine bateman almost kissed jason bateman. hot.
dude 1: hot if you’re from appalachia. that’s incest, dawg. now portia is hot. I’d hit that.
dude 2: good luck bro, she likes chicks. ellen degeneres.
dude 1: even better. threesome, dude! hey, check tivo. when’s it on again?
dude 2: it says no upcoming episodes. what the @#$%, yo?
dude 1: aw shit. now I remember. I heard something about it being canceled. moving to cable or some shit.
dude 2: we’re gonna have to pony up some bucks for showtime?
dude 1: I think we have it in the pole dancing fund.
dude 2: you on crack? do. not. touch. the pole dancing fund!
dude 1: well what then? we can’t afford to add showtime. our cable bill is already heinous.
dude 2: I guess we’re hosed then.
dude 1: yeah. sh!t.
dude 2: f#$%in’ a, dude.

what you have just witnessed is a small sample of what will happen in households all over america friday night as arrested development‘s final episode airs. four final episodes, in fact. after this, it’s all gone. except on showtime (if they decide to pick it up). whatever the case, the ratings are too low for fox to continue airing it.

see what you did? you should be ashamed of yourselves.
unless you are a loyal viewer. then you rule. and I feel your pain.