catheroominations

I just read that some horndog in canada was acquitted of sexual abuse charges. apparently he suffers from sexsomnia, or “involuntary sexual behavior during sleep.” the court called in a sleep expert, who testified under oath that the perv perp was asleep when the alleged attack occured, due to said sexsomnia.

but then why was the dude wearing a condom when he awoke? a person doesn’t involuntarily don a condom.

I’ll bet he unconsciously put barry white in his cd player and sleep-lit some candles too.

while watching the late show with david letterman, I actually got choked up when oprah entered the stage of the ed sullivan theatre.

maybe I should call dr. phil about this.

it’s official, ben affleck is a dad [shudder]. according to us weekly magazine, jennifer garner finally gave birth. it’s a girl. rumor has it, the product of bennifer part deux is named violet. judging from how often ben and jen visited starbucks, I’m guessing violet is the name of their favorite barrista.

remember, you read it here first…or second, or third, or maybe you don’t give a whole lotta hoo-haa.